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Transform your failures into triumphs

Singhal, who has been affiliated with organisations like ‘The National Psychological Wellbeing Council’ and ‘The Counsellor Council of India’ outlines three transformative approaches aimed at conquering life’s inevitable failures…writes Lothungbeni Humtsoe

Life is a journey filled with both highs and lows, comprising moments of success as well as instances of failure. Achievements bring forth feelings of happiness and contentment, while failures often evoke sentiments of disappointment and defeat.

Nevertheless, it remains imperative to grasp the fact that failures are an integral thread woven into the fabric of life. How we choose to react to these failures can wield a profound impact on our personal development and overall well-being.

Overcoming life’s failures requires a shift in mindset and the adoption of transformative approaches. Embracing failure as a learning opportunity, cultivating resilience and self-compassion, and reframing failure as a stepping stone all contribute to our ability to navigate setbacks with grace and determination”, says Archana Singhal, Counsellor & Family Therapist.

In this article, Singhal, who has been affiliated with organisations like ‘The National Psychological Wellbeing Council’ and ‘The Counsellor Council of India’ outlines three transformative approaches aimed at conquering life’s inevitable failures.

Embracing Failure as a Learning Opportunity:

The first transformative approach involves shifting our perspective on failure. Instead of viewing it as an endpoint, we can choose to see failure as a stepping stone toward growth and improvement. Every failure has lessons to offer, providing us with valuable insights into our strengths, weaknesses, and areas for development. By embracing failure as a learning opportunity, we empower ourselves to approach challenges with a curious and open mindset.

When faced with a failure, take a moment to reflect on the experience. What can you learn from this setback? What skills or knowledge can you acquire to enhance your future endeavours? By asking these questions, you redirect your focus from self-blame to self-improvement. Remember, some of the world’s most successful individuals have encountered numerous failures on their path to achievement. Thomas Edison, for instance, famously said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Cultivating Resilience and Self-Compassion:

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity, and self-compassion involves treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, especially in times of difficulty. These qualities play a pivotal role in overcoming failures and setbacks. Developing resilience allows us to persevere despite challenges, while self-compassion helps counteract feelings of shame and self-criticism.

To cultivate resilience, focus on building a support network of friends, family, or professionals who can offer guidance and encouragement. Engage in activities that promote emotional well-being, such as exercise, mindfulness, or journaling. Similarly, practicing self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness you would extend to a friend. When facing failure, remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and setbacks are a natural part of the journey.

Reframing Failure as a Stepping Stone:

The third transformative approach centers around reframing failure as a necessary stepping stone on the path to success. Often, our society places undue emphasis on achievements and outcomes, overlooking the process and effort required to reach those goals. By reframing failure as an essential part of progress, we shift our focus from the destination to the journey itself.

For example a child learning to ride a bicycle. Initial falls and wobbles are seen as part of the learning process, rather than failures. Similarly, in our adult lives, setbacks can be viewed as stepping stones that propel us forward. This approach encourages us to celebrate our efforts, regardless of the immediate outcome, and acknowledge that failure is not a permanent state but a transient phase.

“By integrating these approaches into our lives, we can not only overcome failures but also emerge stronger, more resilient, and better equipped to face the challenges that lie ahead. Remember, failure is not a verdict on your worth but a stepping stone on your journey toward personal growth and success”, concludes Archana Singhal.

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Lite Blogs UK News

YOU FAILED ME! Victims join women’s rights group to protest police failures in UK

Another victim, Sunita Goswami, described how she had been thrown out of her marital home – which she shared with her husband and two children…reports Asian Lite News

Members of the Indian Ladies in UK (ILUK), one of the largest Indian migrant women’s groups in the UK, gathered outside the headquarters of Britain’s biggest police force to protest the repeated police failures in protecting vulnerable migrant women.

The protestors made impassioned pleas for police forces across the country to improve awareness of the unique circumstances faced by migrant women.  They also implored those in positions of authority and power to address the serious lack of understanding in how to handle cases of the physical, emotional and psychological violence endured by these individuals.

These victims’ circumstances present unique challenges – they are in an entirely alien environment; they lack a support network; their visa status means that they are often unable to access public services; language and cultural barriers mean that, quite often, reporting abuse is as terrifying as experiencing it; above all, a lack of understanding of the law and their legal rights hampers their ability to obtain help and support.

Among those participating in the demonstration was ‘Pallavi’ (name changed to protect victim’s anonymity), a young woman originally from Indore in Madhya Pradesh who moved to the UK in 2017 after marrying a British citizen.  Soon after she began suffering abuse at the hands of her husband, the only person that she knew and relied on in the UK.  After months of mental, emotional and physical abuse she was locked out of her marital home with no family, no support.  She was left homeless and without any possessions.  When she reached out to the police for help – at the very least to retrieve her personal belongings – they refused even to register a complaint.

Pallavi became emotional at the demonstration, repeatedly telling the officers there: “You failed me!  When I was out on the streets alone, abandoned by my husband and with no support, you failed me!  When I was being threatened repeatedly by my husband’s family, you didn’t even register a complaint.  You failed me!”

Another victim, Sunita Goswami, described how she had been thrown out of her marital home – which she shared with her husband and two children.  She was falsely accused of being “mentally ill”, a favourite refrain of the perpetrators, and sent to a mental asylum, only to be released within hours after doctors found nothing mentally wrong with her.

When she reached out to police, they once again failed to register a complaint and refused to help in any way.

This inability to provide assistance has led to organizations like ILUK having to take matters into their own hands.  ILUK founder Poonam Joshi, who led the demonstration, said: “The worst part of my work is having to help women whose lives have been destroyed by the men they have entrusted their lives, only for them to be repeatedly let down by a policing and justice system that treats them like second class citizens.  The times where I have had to call police officers and remind them of the rights that women have or to coerce police forces to offer help are countless.  Also, we have been forced to take the law into our own hands because the situation has become so desperate and it is US having a word of warning with husbands to let them know about the protections and rights of women.  

 “Tens of thousands of women have been put at risk because of the widespread failure of police forces across the country to tackle domestic violence.  These failures are doubly damaging to first generation migrants because they not only have to contend with the trauma of abuse but then have to deal with a system that lacks understanding of the support that they require and urgently need.

“Often the default position is to take the abuser’s word at face value because these particular victims are unable to articulate what they are going through and are unable, unwilling or too fearful to demand their rights – either because they just aren’t aware or through cultural factors.  We need a dramatic change in police attitudes, empathy and education of officers who deal with these victims.”

Another supporter, Bhavini Patel, articulated the unique burden carried by these victims.  “Police don’t realize the emotional labour that we carry as migrant women.  Communities don’t realize the extra burden of being migrants in a foreign land, to be able to contend all those challenges while also dealing with abuse.  These women are extraordinary and while they have the support of their sisters, the justice system needs to do far more and far better to help them.  It’s just not good enough at the moment”.

Joining members of ILUK at the demonstration – many of whom left work early to participate in solidarity with victims – were representatives of Sikh Women’s Aid, another community organization that helps victims of domestic abuse victims across the West Midlands.

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